Loneliness is often misunderstood as merely a condition in which someone feels “alone” in facing life’s challenges. In fact, being physically alone can be comfortable for some people.
However, according to Universitas Gadjah Mada (UGM) psychology expert Adelia Khrisna Putri, loneliness is a far more complex feeling. It is the sense of being isolated or disconnected from others, even when surrounded by many people.
“This is not just about the number of friends we have, but about the quality of the relationships we experience,” she explained on Monday (Aug. 11).
Putri noted that loneliness is different from simply being alone. Loneliness relates more to a state of mood or emotion, occurring when the connections we need feel absent or when we lack meaningful relationships, even if we are not physically alone.
“So, it is important to remember that being alone does not always mean being lonely, and feeling lonely is not always because you are alone,” she said.
She described several signs that may indicate a person is experiencing loneliness. These include feeling empty or lacking enthusiasm despite daily activities continuing as usual; finding it difficult to truly “connect” with others, even in company; feeling excluded; spending less time socializing or doing activities once enjoyed; frequently worrying or feeling misunderstood; experiencing sudden mood changes such as sadness, hopelessness, or irritability; feeling more physically fatigued or unwell; and spending more time in the digital world or on social media.
The experience of loneliness is common. Putri explained that this is very possible because loneliness is an emotional state. She gave an example: being in a room full of people who do not have a good relationship with you can make an hour feel like a long time, as there is no one you can comfortably talk to.
Compare that to being in the same room surrounded by people you can joke with, laugh with, and have heartfelt conversations with; time will seem to pass quickly, and several hours can go by unnoticed.
“The difference? It’s not the number of people around, but the quality of relationships that make us feel connected,” she remarked.
According to her, there are several steps to overcome loneliness. First, recognize and acknowledge your feelings. Second, reach out to someone you trust via text, phone call, or an invitation to meet. Third, join activities you are interested in to meet new people. Fourth, reduce time on social media and replace it with real-life interactions. Fifth, take care of yourself by eating well, doing light exercise, and getting enough sleep. Sixth, seek professional help from a counselor or psychologist for the right support.
Adelia emphasized that loneliness is a natural feeling experienced by everyone, but proactive steps can help address it.
“It’s okay to feel lonely. Acknowledging it is the first step,” the expert concluded.
Author: Kezia Dwina Nathania
Editor: Gusti Grehenson
Illustration: Freepik