The commemoration of Mother’s Day serves as a moment to reflect on the role of mothers in everyday life. Amid social change, many mothers take on dual roles as family caregivers while also remaining active in the public sphere. These roles are often accompanied by expectations to always be present, patient, and to prioritize others. Behind the appearance of strength, there is emotional labor that frequently goes unnoticed.
Universitas Gadjah Mada (UGM) psychologist Dr. Edilburga Wulan Saptandari explained that, from a psychological perspective, Mother’s Day can be understood as a space for reflection on the emotional journey women experience as they become mothers. Motherhood does not end with biological functions but encompasses a long and dynamic psychological process.
Changes in women’s roles open wider opportunities, yet also bring emotional pressures in parenting.
“Mother’s Day should be an appreciation of the complex psychological process a woman undergoes when becoming a mother and a reminder that mothers also need space to grow,” she said on Monday (Dec. 22).
According to Dr. Saptandari, as she is commonly known, emotional burdens often accompany a mother’s daily life. Emotional exhaustion often co-occurs with feelings of guilt and pressure to meet social expectations. Many mothers feel compelled to suppress their personal emotions to maintain family harmony.
These burdens frequently go unnoticed by those around them.
“What mothers often experience is emotional exhaustion, guilt, and pressure to continuously meet social expectations as patient and strong figures,” she explained.
Dr. Saptandari noted that a mother’s psychological condition has a direct impact on parenting relationships within the family. Mothers who are in a healthy mental state tend to respond to their children’s emotions warmly and consistently. Such responses help children learn to recognize and manage their feelings from an early age.
According to Dr. Saptandari, this process forms an essential foundation for children’s emotional development.
“Psychologically healthy mothers are better able to respond to children’s emotions in a warm and consistent way, enabling children to develop healthy emotional regulation,” she said.
Conversely, severe psychological pressure can affect a mother’s emotional presence in parenting. Physical presence is not always accompanied by emotional availability when a mother is under significant stress.
This situation can affect a child’s sense of security and attachment, with long-term impacts often felt.
“When mothers are under heavy pressure without adequate support, they struggle to be emotionally present, which affects children’s attachment and mental health,” Dr. Saptandari added.
She further explained that one reason maternal mental health is often overlooked is the strong normalization of sacrifice. Mothers’ fatigue is frequently seen as a natural consequence of motherhood.
This perspective leaves very limited space for mothers to rest or express complaints. Judgmental social attitudes further reinforce this condition.
“Maternal sacrifice is often normalized, so when mothers feel tired or complain, the safe space to express their feelings becomes increasingly narrow,” she stressed.
Dr. Saptandari emphasized that support from the closest environment is a vital pillar of mothers’ psychological well-being. The involvement of partners in parenting and domestic work helps reduce mothers’ emotional burdens.
Support from extended family also provides recognition that mothers are allowed to feel tired and need time for themselves. Such support helps mothers feel valued.
“Mothers greatly need emotional support, partner involvement, and fair division of roles,” she said.
Support for mothers must extend beyond the family sphere to include the social environment, the workplace, and public policy. Without adequate support, many mothers become accustomed to suppressing emotional exhaustion, neglecting their need for rest, and continuously placing themselves last for the sake of their families.
This condition causes parenting to proceed under unrecognized pressure, even though its effects can ripple through family relationships as a whole.
“When mothers are given space to rest emotionally and are supported without judgment, they are better able to be fully present and to build healthy parenting for their children,” she concluded.
Author: Triya Andriyani
Post-editor: Rajendra Arya
Illustration: Freepik